I never thought I’d hear the phrases “flirt to convert” or “halal-haram ratio” on a mainstream American television series — let alone one about young Muslims looking for love through matchmakers.
Muslim Matchmaker, an aptly named reality show now streaming on Hulu, offers an inside look into the challenges of navigating the dating scene while staying true to one’s faith. In an effort to counteract the “swipe culture” cultivated by dating apps, matchmakers Hoda Abrahim and Yasmin Elhady venture to connect people with their potential soulmates, on the condition they follow the Rules of Three: Go on three dates, talk for three months, and ask 300 questions before saying yes or no to someone.
Across eight episodes, participants explore everything from cultural norms and stigmas to religious compatibility with potential spouses — ensuring their ideals of what’s “halal” (or permissible) and “haram” (or forbidden) align. The series, produced by Meralta Films in collaboration with ABC News Studios, is the brainchild of Indian Matchmaking creator Smriti Mundhra.
“It became clear with the success of Indian Matchmaking — and then subsequently, Jewish Matchmaking — that there was a real universality to the search for companionship, but also, there was a lot of interest in the specificity of how different communities and different cultures approach it,” Mundhra told me in an interview. “I wanted to pursue more and look at other lenses through which to explore this subject.”
Personally, I don’t tend to have an appetite for reality TV (the word “reality” feels like too much of a stretch for my liking), but I binged Muslim Matchmaker in two sittings. I was drawn to the diversity of participants and personalities, the frank conversations about finding a spouse in the age of dating apps and chiefly, as an American Muslim myself, the struggles of balancing faith and culture, and finding someone who aligns with those values. I also appreciated the candid discussions about stigmas surrounding divorce and age gaps — which are rooted in culture rather than Islam but can still weigh heavily on second-generation Muslim Americans who worry what their parents may think about a suitor.
Perhaps most importantly, Muslim Matchmaker offers a refreshing alternative to so many mainstream portrayals of Islam, which is often depicted by Western media in a monolithic, negative light. Thankfully, that’s slowly been changing as more shows and movies diversify not only their casting but also their writers’ rooms, often tapping consultants to ensure accuracy. I’ve noticed this evolution with shows like Ms. Marvel, We Are Lady Parts, and Ramy. (Even an episode in the final season of The Crown accurately portrayed an Islamic funeral prayer). Muslim Matchmaker, which also included Muslim crew behind the scenes, adds to that roster of authentic representation.
Fulani is one of about a dozen participants in Muslim Matchmaker looking for love.
The show’s creators say they spent months casting participants who would not only be compelling and genuine on screen, but who could also represent a range of ages, cultures, geographic regions, ethnicities and levels of religious observance.
Senain Kheshgi, an executive producer on the series, says she understands firsthand the importance of showing the diversity of Islam and its followers.
“We are such a panoply; we are from so many different cultures that there is no one Muslim, and we really wanted to share that with the world,” Kheshgi said. “We look like everything and can be everything.”
Smriti Mundhra (left) and Senain Kheshgi are executive producers on Muslim Matchmaker.
And because so many of the cast and crew were Muslim, Kheshgi noted, they’d stop for prayer breaks as needed during filming. (Muslims pray five times a day, ranging from early morning to evening.)
Tahirah Nailah Dean, a lawyer who also writes about Muslim dating and marriage — and who’s a friend of mine — said she was initially “nervous there wasn’t going to be enough action” in a show about Muslim matchmaking, but that she found it to be well done and entertaining.
“Usually, I’m afraid to watch Muslims on television because we do get so easily labeled and stereotyped, and so I was very nervous about how it was going to be,” she said. “It seems to do a good job at representation, and that could make a difference for some young Muslims that are struggling to feel good about themselves.”
See also: Hollywood is slowly working to rectify decades of Muslim misrepresentation
Mundhra and Kheshgi emphasize that Muslim Matchmaker is meant to be relatable and enjoyable for people of all faiths and backgrounds. Mundhra, for instance, isn’t Muslim but says she still felt drawn into the themes and lessons explored in the show.
“Just like how everybody from all different backgrounds really loved and embraced Indian Matchmaking, I think there’s so much here for people of all backgrounds to really grasp onto, just like I did,” she said.
And, as Kheshgi added, “Love is universal.”
Matchmakers Yasmin Elhady and Hoda Abrahim will often chime in on what’s going down between the couples they’ve paired on the show.
Any show — and particularly any reality show — is going to spur mixed reactions. Since Muslim Matchmaker’s debut, I’ve been scouring the internet for general reactions, and from what I’ve seen, they’ve mostly leaned positive (My friends have also only had good things to say so far). But there’s always going to be discourse from viewers who don’t feel a show accurately represents their views and beliefs, or participants who don’t like the way they were portrayed.
Mundhra said it’s “par for the course that there’s going to be some feedback and some reactions,” and that she welcomes people sharing those thoughts and perspectives.
“When it’s so rare to see yourself represented or to see your culture represented, it’s easy to feel the pain when the thing that’s out there doesn’t cover all aspects or every facet of a community or of a particular experience,” she noted. But, she added, “It would be impossible for any of these shows to cover all dimensionality of the Muslim experience or the Indian experience or the Jewish experience. … The hope is that this show will be so celebrated and successful that it’ll spark five more shows like it, where even more aspects of Muslim life and culture can be explored in different ways.”
So, is a second season of Muslim Matchmaker on the horizon?
“InshAllah [God willing] is all I can say,” Kheshgi said, tacking on, “I hope there is a season 2.”
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